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I don’t want to brag, but I go to the dentist every six months to get my teeth cleaned and checked. Yes, I’m doing very well for myself.

Unlike a lot of people, I am not afraid of going to the dentist. It’s a good chance for me to catch up on Highlights magazine and to hear what the old people are listening to on the local adult contemporary FM station, but Dentist, please. Stop with the constant updates that I have an appointment coming up.

About two years ago my dentist started a service where you could get an automatic email reminder about your appointment. I didn’t think too much of it when I gave the receptionist my email address until five months later when I started getting the reminders. Plural. I might be exaggerating slightly, but I probably get about forty-five reminders via email per appointment. And then they call. And they don’t just call me. They call my wife as well.

There are loads of great things about living in these modern times, and one of them is that in my pocket at all times is a four inch computer. That computer has a calendar into which I can put events and reminders such as dentist appointments and when they get closer I can tell the computer to remind me so that I won’t forget, because don’t get me wrong, I would forget. If left to my own devices I would never remember when I was supposed to do anything. I rely heavily on the near-miraculous device I carry around constantly to keep me abreast of where I need to be and when. It’s really taken a huge burden off my wife who used to be the one who had to get me places on time.

But I assure you, Dentist, I’ve got the situation well managed. I know when my next appointment is, and even if I don’t, my phone does. I’ll be there. I promise.

Think about what you’re doing. If a friend of yours set a date with you for some time in the future would you start haranguing him with emails weeks beforehand? It comes across as needy.

Enough is enough, Dentist. I’ll see you in three month.