I’ve been writing a lot lately. Jokes, rewriting scripts, tweets, and chapters of the whiskey book have taken all my writing time, but if you’re reading this you’ve probably been following me on Facebook and Twitter and don’t miss me terribly much anyway.

I’ll write funny things for you soon, internet.

Tomorrow is the send-off party for my trip along the American Whiskey Trail with my friend Eric Smith. The journey begins at the party in Philadelphia and will take me to such exotic locations as New York City, parts of Pennsylvania I’ve never considered visiting, Tennessee, and Kentucky. Along the way Eric and I will see distilleries, museums, bars, and strangers. I’m not so pumped about the last one, but the first three all seem great.

Eric asked me to go on this adventure with him months ago with the simple pitch of “I want to write a book about the Whiskey Trail, and I want you to do it with me.” I was completely on board from the start, but Eric’s proposal raised an interesting question. Why?

Why did Eric want to do this thing? Eric does not drink whiskey and he does not drive. So while driving around the country and visiting key sites to America whiskey history seemed like a blast to me, I couldn’t understand why Eric would want to. “It seems fun.” He told me, and I guess that’s all the explanation he really needs.

The trip officially begins on April 1st when we visit a few whiskey-related sites in New York, and will conclude sometime around April 13th. April 14th at the absolute latest because that’s when I need to return the rental car.

Follow the journey on The Whiskey Road’s Blog, here, and on Twitter.

Here’s a joke I wrote for St. Patrick’s Day.

Did everyone have a good St. Patrick’s Day? Everyone wear green and go out drinking? You bunch of racists. Wearing green and getting hammered on St. Patrick’s Day is like celebrating Martin Luther King Day with a bucket of fried chicken. It’s in bad taste. I’m Irish. Do you think I spent the whole day drinking and eating corned beef? Of course I did! But not because I’m Irish, it’s because I’m an alcoholic and corned beef is fucking delicious; and it’s on sale that week. $1.89 per pound? Unbeatable!

Here’s audio of me telling this joke at Comix in New York. March 22nd.

I have told that joke four times. Every time it’s gotten a solid reaction from the crowd, but has also prompted accusations that the joke is racist, or in a few cases that I am. I’m not writing this to defend myself or the joke, but rather to express my surprise that a number of people seem to completely miss the point of the joke. That point is: Everyone’s racist on St. Patrick’s Day. And it’s a point I’ve been making for years.

Everything we in America do to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day is an acting out of an Irish stereotype. Drinking, wearing green, making our children dress like leprechauns, and even eating corned beef and cabbage. Obviously, not all Irish people drink or wear green every day. They’re not a bunch of fools who think leprechauns run around tricking people to protect their gold, and corned beef isn’t a traditional Irish dish. Propagating these stereotypes is racist.

Obviously the line in the joke that people have taken issue with is:

“Wearing green and getting hammered on St. Patrick’s Day is like celebrating Martin Luther King Day with a bucket of fried chicken.”

I stand by the joke. That line’s not racist. It compares the stereotypes of the Irish perpetuated by most people without thought to a stereotype we’re all familiar with and generally find offensive. The juxtaposition is meant to show that the Irish stereotypes are just as offensive. Because really, they are. The line implies that celebrating a holiday to remember a black civil rights leader with a bucket of fried chicken would be in poor taste. Because it would. If I said that it would be a great way to mark the occasion, that would be racist.

To sum up my point, the joke is not racist, and if you think it is that’s only because you are stupid.

But maybe I’m wrong. (I am not wrong) I would love to hear your comments on this, so feel free to leave one. Or several.

Here’s me with my often-spoken-of dog, Elvis Costello. He is an English Pointer, but because he has spots everyone assumes he’s a Dalmatian. This drives me crazy. Admittedly he is not a purebreed, so there’s no certainly as to what else he is, but the dominant breed is English Pointer.

The folks at http://www.canineheritage.com will DNA test your dog and tell you exactly what breed(s) he or she is for about $80. My wife talked about having it done when we first got Elvis Costello because she was curious, but I was against it just because I don’t think it matters what breed he is. He’s my dog and I love him regardless. But after about the hundredth person to ask me if he’s a Dalmatian it’s starting to seem worth while.

If you’re so inclined you can even be a fan of Elvis Costello on Facebook

Was asked to write up a short bio of myself for an upcoming project I’m working on with the great Eric Smith. Thought you might enjoy it.

Glen Tickle is a writer and comedian from New Jersey where he currently resides with his wife Stephanie and dog Elvis Costello. Mr. Tickle graduated from Ramapo College with a degree in Contemporary Arts. The degree currently hangs in Glen’s office where it does little to benefit him professionally, though it does tie the room together nicely. Glen met Eric Smith when Eric was dating a girl Glen would later steal from Eric and then marry. They have been friends ever since.

In a true reversal of roles, on Wednesday night my comedian pal Patrick Janssen hosted the weekly show at The Wardell in Phillipsburg (I usually host the show) and I shouted on stage and talked about sports. (Pat usually shouts on stage and talks about sports)

If Bill Tickle was there to hear me shout “COME ON, DEL ZOTTO, GET THE PUCK TO GABORIK” in the middle of joke, I’m pretty sure he would have cried. (He usually doesn’t hear me talk about sports, is a Rangers fan, and I imagine he cries sometimes when he’s proud of his kids.)

As everyone expected, Janssen did a great job as host. Far superior to me, which isn’t surprising, as I don’t really think I’m a great emcee. I’m am too calm to bring the energy most emcees produce. Largely because I think anyone who says “How are we doing tonight? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” is an idiot. I don’t naturally have that kind of persona and while I could fake it I don’t want to come across as, well, fake. That said, I have every intention of continuing to host the show at The Wardell because whether I think I’m great at it or not, it affords me the chance to do whatever I want on stage. But it’s nice to know how easily replaceable I am.

That's a good looking man.

Here’s my new headshot.

Last night I did a comedy show at Rutgers University. I knew nothing about the show going in besides the fact that my friend Ryan Houssein was also supposed to be on the show. After some parking issues I found the place where I was supposed to be and was surprised to find a class going on. The show was in a giant lecture hall. Awesome.

As I stood outside the room waiting for the class to get out, the people running the show arrived and introduced themselves. I said hello and then we all waited. More students, both comics and audience, started showing up so I began calling and texting Ryan to see where he was. The idea of talking to a bunch of strange college kids in a hallway while they waited to see if I was funny or not was terrifying.

Ryan never came, because he’s the worst.

The class finally let out and we went inside. The comedians grouped together up front and I realized that all the comedians were students, except for me. This raised the question of what exactly I was doing there. Ryan had sent me the email address and told me they were looking for comics, so there I was. It was a weird feeling being the oldest person in the room at the ripe old age of twenty-six.

When I got up to do my set I realized that had anyone walked into the room not knowing there was a comedy show going on they would have just seen a man in a suit talking to a bunch of students in a lecture hall and assumed a class was going on. A hilarious class, but a class none the less. The situation enforced my belief that being a college professor would be great.

The room was filled with easily more than one hundred total strangers. I knew absolutely no one there. I didn’t realize it until after the fact, but before last night I had never done a show to an audience of people I’ve never met before. Lack of familiarity aside, my set went over really well. There really is a huge difference between doing a comedy show for a large audience that’s there to see a comedy show and doing it in a bar. (Note to self: Book more college shows)

When I signed up to do the show they told me it was a benefit and that my material should be family friendly. I forgot that fact until about an hour before I left for the show. Surprisingly it had little effect on my set. But when I got there and realized that everyone in the audience was between the ages of 18 and 22 I was less worried about whether or not I said “shit”. I tried a new joke that I wrote on the ride down and was glad it went over well. The joke about Elvis Costello got a laugh out of probably the only 3 people in the room who knew who Elvis Costello is. Seems to be the normal reaction to that joke, so I’ll probably retire it until such a time as I do a show for a bunch of hipsters or British people.

I was actually really surprised by the level of talent in the room. Being the conceited dick that I am, I just assumed most of the college kids would get up and do hackish retellings of Dane Cook material, and I was happy to see that only one of them got up and did hackish retellings of Dane Cook material. The rest of them were all great. Notably, Patrick Howitt was brilliant.

The only female comedian of the evening (Dinah? Something?) was so good that I’m actually not even 100% sure she was the only female comedian of the group, but easily the only one I remember. (Sorry any other female comedians of the night, you done been outshined) I’ll update this post if I can track down her name because she really deserves the huge bump the five people reading this will give her.

After the show one of the other comics (sorry, sir, don’t remember your name) was talking to me after the show and informed he’d actually seen me at New York Comedy Club a while ago, which was nice. Proof that my “wear the same thing every day so people will recognize you” plan is paying off.

I’ll be doing a show in New Brunswick at The Stress Factory Wednesday March 3rd, and while that’s the only other Rutgers-area show I currently have booked, I’ll be down there again soon.

Did I mention the headlining show at Diamonz went pretty well? While I wasn’t scheduled to be back there until March 6th to open for my friend Brandon Strohl, I got asked back to host for the next weeks. This is convenient for me because I was going to these shows anyway to see Pat Janssen this Saturday and Jason Brown next Saturday.

So if you weren’t planning on going to those shows because I wouldn’t be there telling any jokes, just know that now I will be.

Good news! I will be appearing at Comix Comedy Club on March 22nd at 7pm. I’m really excited about this because it’s a venue at which I’ve really wanted to perform. I shot an email to the guy in charge of their new talent showcase with a clip of one of my New York Comedy Club sets and he called me back within minutes to ask when I can do it.

The New Talent Showcase is a mix of newcomers like myself and well known professionals. Judah Friedlander and Jim Gaffigan both make frequent appearances at these shows. So besides seeing me you will get to see other really great comics.

This is a “bringer” show, meaning I need to get a certain number of people there to see me in order to get on stage. In this case it’s fifteen people. It seems high for a Monday night, but there’s plenty of notice and I don’t think Lost premieres that night, so there should be no excuses.

Tickets are $15 and there’s a 2 ITEM (not DRINK) minimum. So get an appetizer and a beverage and you’ll be covered. Besides the face I just really want to do this club, I will get a professional 2-camera shoot DVD of my set and after I do the show there I will be able to go see comedy shows there for free forever. I know me getting into free comedy shows doesn’t really benefit you, but think of how much enjoyment you’ll get out of watching a really nicely shot video of me telling jokes.